Phones, Headaches, and Maple Syrup Baths!
by 20 Percent Awesomer
Summary: 'What the hell does he want at 6am morning? Probably Around 2pm over in Russia.' Canada thought to himself as he angrily took the call. "Become one with Mother- Canada threw his phone against the wall, almost shattering the whole case. A phone was driving everyone insane, his temples throbbed, and he felt like taking a bath in maple syrup.' Oneshot Gift for DaIvanBranski RusCan


_**Phones, Headaches, and a Maple Syrup Bath!**_

_**A RusCan x-mas oneshot for DaIvanbranski. She is an awesome friend and a loyal Russia fangirl!**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own anything expect story.**_

**Forgive me for the cheesiest RusCan name ever, Ivan! ;3; Contains a very angry Canadian, a Rage induced American, and a Lovestuck Russian. T for bad words, and older themes (Not too old though still pretty fluffy) **

**WWW**

_THWACK_**!**

Canada's forehead slammed on the bed railings, leaving a large purple bruise on the ginger blonde's forehead. Canada winced and he re-focused his eyes, only to find everything was still blurry. He reached over to his bed side table to try to pick up his glasses, to no surprise he picked them up and quickly placed the glasses on the bridge of his nose. His phone; which was on his wardrobe was blaring very loudly, which probably drove his brother who was down the hall to start growling. His brother's voice was muffled and strange sounded. His face probably in a pillow.

A phone was driving everyone insane, his temples throbbed, and he felt like taking a bath in maple syrup.

The normally shy nation roughly tore the covers off of his body, and swung his legs over. He dragged himself over to the phone, and checked the caller ID.

'What the hell does, _**he **_want at 6am morning? Probably Around 2pm over in Russia.' Canada thought to himself as he angrily took the call.

"Become one with Mother- Canada threw his phone against the wall, almost shattering the whole case. He took in a deep breath and let it out. He picked up his favorite manly brush and began to run in though his long ginger hair. His stubborn curl was droopy with exhaustion and his normally radiating blue violet eyes were blank.

Why was he so out character? Most likely because he was up all night at America's damn Christmas party. It was aggravating, and painful to remember. Most likely he got drunk and now is in the mist of a hang over.

Canada brushed the non-existent dust off of his red and white maple leaf onesie pajamas, and began to hop downstairs.

Shockingly, America was down there on Canada's PS4 playing some violent video game. He was also wearing an onesie but with red, white, blue stripes, and of course his bean with stars dotted on every inch of it. The Americans rectangle glasses were askew, and his dirty brown hair fell over his left eye. Only one sky blue eye peeked out.

Canada just let the gamer game in peace, and went into the kitchen. He took out some flour, milk, butter, eggs, sugar, and some extra goodies. Just as the man began to whip up some pancake batter, the phone began to ring. Just as he was running up stairs he heard a groan from America's bedroom. Canada ignored it, and trudged up stairs to his room. He picked up his phone and yelled.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT!?"

"Calm down _mal'chik_ I have come to ask something." A eerie voice lined with Russian replied. *Mal'chik-Boy*

"NO, I DON'T WANT TO BECOME ONE WITH YOU! YOU IDIOTIC PRICK!" Canada yelled into the speaker.

Russia was silent for a moment then he started quietly "koling" before replying, "Matthew I wasn't going to ask that to ask that. Please don't yell, you sound like _Angliya_." *Angliya-England

Canada raised his brow, at the noise he heard from little ways off. "Well, please do get on with it." Matthew began to grow more agitated.

"Well I was wondering… Um if I could stay over er, at your house… You know "hang" out, da?" Russia asked quietly, his usually creepy voice was soft.

Canada blinked. "Um Russia-

"Ivan. Call me Ivan."

"Er, Ivan this is a bit sudden…" Matthew trailed off.

"Da, I know but I just wanted to try and be friends with you…"

"You tried that with America, did that work?" Canada snapped.

"No, I am sorry about that but… Your totally different, may be of the same blood but you two are polar oppsites." Russia dropped something on the other side of the line.

A fairly loud crash came from somewhere in the house, and a loud string of cuss words was heard.

"Alfred! Keep it down you fool!" Canada exclaimed loudly.

"It wasn't me!" America screamed back just as loudly.

Canada felt sweat began to form. "Ivan…?"

"Da?"

"Where are you…?"

"…. So can I come over or not?"

"Yeah, yeah, just answer the damn question."

"Well, _Kanada_ I am down the wall from your room." Canada's mouth went dry as he dropped the phone. He lifted one leg upon another, scooting to his brother's room.

The ginger blonde's pupils began to dilate, or shake rapidly around as he slowly pushed open the door.

Canada stepped in and let out a sigh of relief.

Same old messy room scattered with papers, clothes, comics and such. Why were England's boxers on the floor? Only god knows.

Canada just began to turn around, but was stopped as some laid a gloved hand on his shoulder.

"_Allo Kanada_." Russia whispered. *Hello Canada*

Canada screams echoed all the way to China, literally.

WWW

"Wow. Good job you scared my brother half to death." Alfred gave the snow-haired giant Ivan a pat on the back. "Now, who is up for some pancakes!?"

Russia rolled his deep purple eyes and slung the un-conscious Canadian over his shoulder and followed his former ally downstairs. The Russian nation studied the house. He clearly didn't belong, with his long tan coat decorated with medals and jewels, his out of place ten foot long scarf, and almost knee high brown, leather boots that made squeaks on the wooden floor.

The house was a complete mess. Just a complete pig pen, no more, no less.

The kitchen how ever was fairly clean and professional looking. Pancakes, butter, syrup, and a big Mac were on the small three person table.

Russia carefully dropped Canada on the couch and pulled out a chair. He held it straight in the air with one hand, and picked up his plate of food in the other and began making his way into the living room.

The big nosed country set down the chair next to the still corpse of Matthew. He plopped into it, along with his pancakes.

America put on a poker face and brought a plate of pancakes over to his Russian guest.

Between bites of his greasy hamburger, the dirty blonde managed to ask Russia something "So Ivan, up for a game of Minecraft?"

"What… What is this "Minecraft" you speak of?" Alfred spat out his burger.

"What the hell is wrong you man!?" Little bright stars began to form around America.

'_O, gospodin _is this an American Sparkle Party?' Russia asked himself while cutting up his pastries. *O, gospodin-Oh lord/god*

"Minecraft is only the most cubetastic video game ever! The most scrappiest graphics and plot, but that's beside the point." Russia frowned.

"I'll try when your brother wakes up maybe…" America expressed a semi-serious face.

"M'kay…" Alfred said a bit uneasily.

Just then, Matthew began rapidly blinking his eyes, and groaning.

"Speak of the _d'yavol_." Russia growled. *D'yavol-Devil*

Canada looked up to see a pancake drowned in maple syrup dangling over his face.

"Pancakes? I must be in heaven!" Canada stretched and fixed his glasses. Then he noticed his brother and the purpled eye nation.

"America and Russia? Oh shit I must be in hell!" America grits his teeth and began switching the game disk out of the game console on the floor.

"Um _net_ _Kanada_. You're alive and apparently playing Minecraft with me." Canada moaned loudly but shut his mouth as Russia sent him a glare. Canada sighed and began eating his pancakes. *Net-No*

America pumped his fist in the air and passed the two on the couch a controller.

"Lets do this!"

WWW

Six hours later

Canada rolled around on the floor in anger, as Russia began "koling" at the game.

America was laughing his hearty laugh.

"Russia, just take your dirt and your wood and shove them up your inventory!" Russia threw the game controller at the loud man.

Canada stopped raging and rolling on the floor and began laughing at America's expression of pure anger.

"You... You just made me fall into the pit of lava… You BASTARD!" America flipped the table and lamp next to him, and ran upstairs.

"Thank you so much _colleague_!" Canada held up his fist. *Colleague-Friend*

Inside of Russia's head he was doing the snoopy dance but in reality he had a blank look of confusion.

"Isn't that Sweden's thing?" Russia asked, plainly baffled. _**A/N THE REFENCES! :**_**D**

Canada laughed his cute laugh again. "Yeah, but everyone does it! So…" Russia clenched his teeth and embraced the shorter Canadian with a fist pump.

Canada jumped on to the couch next to Russia. Russia blushed and notably stared at Canada for a second before returning to the game.

Suddenly the room was covered in snow and frost as a third figure sat on the couch. Russia said nothing and continued to fight some zombies.

The figure didn't say or do anything he looked like Russia but with ice blue eyes, paper white skin, and a long fluffy white coat incrusted with blue crystals and pale sapphires.

Canada shrugged it off, if his polar bear could talk, a guy could appear out of nowhere. Speaking of that… Where was Canada's pet?

"Maybe Russia ate him." Canada mumbled.

'No, I am sure he most likely nuzzled against your feet, child.' An icy voice stated.

"What?" Canada looked down at his feet, and sure enough a white bear cub was sitting on his foot.

"Matthew, you know your giant friend likes you a lot, be nice to him okay?" Before Canada could give this freak a piece of mind he disappeared without trace of snow.

"Something wrong _Kanada?"_ Russia asked, but the Canadian silently shook his head.

Being the gentle soul he was; Canada rested his head on Russia's shoulder and closed his eyes. A few drops a blood fell but Russia's nose but he quickly wiped it away.

Since Canada had quite a bit of French in him, he knew how to handle this; understanding what he must do now.

Canada wrapped the ends of Russia's scarf around his own neck. Russia placed the controlled down and smiled at the shorter male as the Russia leaned down and pecked the nation on the cheek.

"_WHAT THE FUUUUC- _An American voice came from the other side of the room.

Chaos was insured.

WWW

Canada held an ice pack to his throbbing head; America chucked a toy at Russia only for it to hit poor "Mattie" in the same exact spot he got hit in the morning. Russia was standing by his side making some bacon so Matthew wouldn't start crying. Russia's phone began ringing, and oh dear god was it loud.

Matthew drowned his head in a bucket of maple syrup next to him and screamed into it.

A phone was driving everyone insane, his temples throbbed, and he felt like taking a bath in maple syrup. But Matthew wouldn't like any way else.

_The End_

_Hope you enjoyed! :)_

_-20 Percent Awesomer_


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